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January 31, 2007

Who Cares?

Ready for a little grammar? Don’t worry, no one ever cheers after that question.

I teach a business writing class at night and we often indulge in just “a little grammar.” (The word “little” is key, since grammar is rarely seen as fun these days.)  Our topic last night was “who” and “whom.” It’s almost a universal struggle to differentiate between the two. The fault lies with “whom.”

The trouble is, “whom” has fallen out of favor. Many people consider it…well, pretentious. When was the last time you heard someone say “Whom did you date last night?”  Yes, “whom” is correct, but I can bet you they’re not saying that at Riverdale High.

If you really want to know, the rule holds that “who” is the subject of a sentence. (“Who is the king of this town?”)  Whom is used as the object of a verb (“The man whom I greeted yesterday at the train station.)  When in doubt, try substituting “he” and “him” for the word in question.  “He” would substitute for “who” and “him” for “whom.”


Confused? Don’t worry. “Whom” is so rarely used anymore. To paraphrase Hemingway, for “whom” does the bell toll? It tolls for “whom.”

Addressing All Our Needs and Aspirations

So, Microsoft filled retailers’ shelves with its brand new platform. That’s big news. In fact, it’s really big news because the folks at MS say Vista will solve world hunger. Here’s a soundbite:
[Vista will] squarely address the needs and aspirations of people around the globe.” 
Wow, that’s a tall order. Just a little box can meet the needs and aspirations of everyone – in the entire world? And I thought Gap was trying too hard to please everyone.  These folks sound ... well, cultish.
Of course, a new Microsoft product is considered big news. It was interesting how the company touted the “family friendliness” of its new system. Could that be a conscious attempt to veer from the image of the stodgy-suited guy in the Apple commercial? Hmm…
Truth is, MS will have folks eventually using their new product, no matter what the vague attempts at clver promoton. The vast majority of us are captive to the company both at work and at home. There is no beed to strut out a fun little family for the product launch. Most of us will eventually purchast the product, now with a "wow," but with a bow. 

January 30, 2007

In Defense of Marketing

I didn't think I'd have to write this entry, but the Maven had a very strange day today.  It was not a good situation – I actually had to defend my profession against those who believe we are all a buncha amoral knuckleheads.
 
I'm not going to write about how some of the smartest people I know are in marketing (they are), about how we are always trying to elevate our profession (we are) or why I'm intensely proud of being a marketer (I am).
 
Instead, I'll write about why I love being in marketing…
 
Marketing is about conversations – Ever have a conversation that fascinates you? One that drags long into the night because you are learning more and more about each other? That's what great marketers do all the time. They look for connections and conversations that are fascinating to both parties. And when you've facilitated that amazing conversation, you both feel great about that relationship.   Imagine achieving that kind of bond … and getting paid!
 
Marketing means innovation and creativity – There's a reason why Lucy and Ethel are hysterical on the candy factory line. Mind-numbing work is ridiculous.   Human beings must mix it up or we start  stuffing chocolates down our shirts.  Marketing is anything but mind-numbing. It's about making things better and more creative. That's why many CEOS start as marketers – they see the importance of innovation.
 
Marketing is one big fascinating experiment – What happens if I launch my product in April? Will my spokesperson be a hit or a flop? Which message resonates best with 40 year olds? These are the type of questions we ask ourselves daily in marketing. There are no easy answers to the science of marketing. That's what I love – the pure excitement and experimentation of trial and error.
 
Marketing can change the world – Yup, for good or bad, marketing can change the world. How did we get almost an entire country to stop smoking? Get parents to vaccinate their children? Persuade kids of a certain age to give a hoot and not pollute?   Marketers had a hand in all of these generation-changing campaigns.
 
Am I proud of my profession? Absolutely! 

January 29, 2007

Warming Up to Communicating Globally

Seth Godin's blog refers to this great article on doing business in a global world. Read the advice, and be sure to note the comments – many of which offer more helpful advice.
 
I think my first cross-cultural faux pas took place in the United Kingdom (note how I didn't say England).  I packed my presentation with lots of silly jokes, dumb asides and an opening line that was reminiscent of a very bad Vegas comedy act. I also strutted up and down the aisles, asking questions (note the article's comment advising against this – apparently, audience questions are for those who don't know; presentations are for those who do). When I ended the whole deadly speech, someone remarked, "Well, now we've heard from the American."
 
These days I learn most of my global communications cues from the students in my night class at University of California, Irvine. They tell me that Americans are way too direct, especially in the e-mails they send. For example, a quick e-mail stating, "Send the order to me by Thursday" is seen as rather boorish and abrupt. And they have said what's confirmed in the article warning against Americans' propensity for "Hey's" and "Hi's" for salutations. 

Interestingly, my students tell me the queen of directness, Paris Hilton, is known worldwide (and not just for her eponymous hotel). Isn't that nice to know? Talk about rather boorish.  Too bad Americans aren't known for their incredible finesse in gracefully relating to a multitude of cultures. Now, that would be hot.

January 26, 2007

Blowing off the Fairy Dust

Funny thing happened while logging onto "Yahoo" tonight. I was delighted by a clever ad Disney had placed in the all-powerful righthand box on Yahoo's home page.  Instead of that mortgage company's irritating gyrating cowboys, I encountered Tinkerbell fluttering across the page. Very clever, I thought.

Well, what entices a 40-something leaves a nine-year-old non-plussed. I showed it to my daughter and she said, "So?"

Apparently, Web tricks are commonplace to the tween set. They've seen it all and interacted with it all. My generation may have thrilled to see Tink fly across the sky during a big Disneyland fireworks display. But my daughter's generation expects more. Perhaps if you could manipulate Tinky and let her crash into the castle, leaving only a heap of fairy dust ...well, maybe that would be cool.

So, all you interactive media specialists, your stuff isn't bowling over the right demographic. Seems my generations "wow" is the younger set's "what's next?"

January 24, 2007

Gap Gapped

Now that The Gap ousted its CEO because of slumping sales, we can all become Tuesday morning quarterbacks (it is Tuesday, right?).  Why did The Gap gap?

I’ve long railed against the ubiquitous Banana Republic, but The Gap is just as bad.  In my California city alone, there are three Gaps less than ten minutes away. I wouldn’t object if The Gap were a chain of gasoline stations (which you CAN’T find anymore) or even a Starbucks-type outfit. After all, these are the types of purchases one might make on a regular basis. But I don’t have early morning cravings for a pair of skinny jeans. And I can’t remember the last time I was driving on the highway down to my last drop of midriff-baring t-shirts.

Besides the fact that there are too many gaps (and yes, Banana Republics), think about what’s inside. It’s mostly bland, boring clothing that’s more expensive than at that mid-range department store with the little dog and the bulls-eye.  When Gap got bigger, it tried to please more people. And in doing so, it got very bland.

I remember back in the early 1990s when my son was born and I rushed to buy him cool Baby Gap togs.  People admired his threads back then.  He was a cool kid with a hip mother who dressed him in tiny grunge flannel shirts. Now, my 14-year-old son sees a Gap store and says, “Yecch.”

It’s sad. The generation that grew up in Baby Gap won’t enter the many Gaps planted up and down their streets. The retailer has lost an entire generation … or more.

January 23, 2007

The Little Purple Pill That Could

So, the drug advertisers may be facing more scrutiny.  Probably won't mean many changes, though. Pharmaceutical companies hold pretty big sway in DC. What do you think about drug companies' direct to consumer advertising? We all witnessed how hard Merck pushed Vioxx, a drug that had some hefty side effects.

And recently the Food and Drug Administration told Amgen to stop running commercials for Enbrel, a treatment for the skin disease psoriasis. The F.D.A. said the ads downplayed "serious risks" associated with the drug.

As a former health care marketer (and advertiser), I know that there's a side of the argument that says you shouldn't be spending dollars that sick people desperately need for care and cures. (How many weightloss surgery ads do we really need in Los Angeles, huh?)

On the other hand, advertising helps educate and illuminate. As a woman of a certain age, I want to know my options for preventing osteoporosis and all those other nasty things that happen after –ah hem – a certain age. And say what you will about all those ads for anti-depressants. It certainly brings the prevalence of the problem to light.

If all that money wasn't spent on advertising, I have no doubt that big pharma would find some other way to market (beyond the usual junkets, etc.).  Until this country adopts some form of socialized medicine, pharmaceutical companies will continue to make big dollars in America.

 

January 22, 2007

Social Networking Seriously

A former student of mine sent me his LinkedIn site the other day. Are you LinkedIn? It's not a bad idea to set up an account.

LinkedIn calls itself the social networking site for older people (oh great!). It's not really MySpace for geriatrics. Think of it as a "mature" form of MySpace.  It's networking the way we used to think of it – getting to know people who may be interested in  your job or business, not picking up friends like a 14-year-old.

LinkedIn allows users to register their professional information on a personal site and send it out to the world for others to comment, offer advice or provide more contacts. It's free, but there are premium services if you want to build yourself a super-loaded site.

I haven't really fixed up my LinkedIn site yet, but plan to. In the mean time, I left a reference for my former student and wished him luck in his own networking. I like the whole idea. It certainly beats the old way of networking. (See my previous commentary on rubber chickens.)

January 19, 2007

Parenting and Marketing: A Grand Combination

Do moms make better marketers?  I've been told by a reader (ok, this could be my ONLY reader for all I know) that it's cool I'm a marketer and a mom.

I do believe that parenthood has made me better at marketing. Here's why:

  • I can relate - Moms world-wide have no time to be "all that they can be." While Martha and Rachel and all the kitchen divas tell us we can whip something up and bring down the hosue with some special recipe, I barely have time to open a box of Cheerios. That's real life I'm talking about. I can relate to most families' dilemmas.
  • I have an innate BS meter - I can immediately tell when homework hasn't been done and teeth haven't been brushed. I can smell falsehood just as I can smell a backpack full of old gym clothes. I know when the message just ain't right.
  • I understand grunts - My 14-year-old has foresaken all language skills for grunting. That's cool. I have become sensitive to the tonality of the grunts -- that's how I understand the mindsets of teens, pre-teens and certain folks who never progressed beyond this age.
  • I have hopes - No matter how much I make fun of my kids, I still think that they are destined to be presidents, rock stars, brain surgeons and poet laureates (yes, they can be all four if they so choose). That's what being a parent and a marketer is about. It's about grand possibilities.

January 18, 2007

I Is Published!

Marketingprofs.com published my article the other day. It’s based on an entry I wrote for this blog a month ago. Pretty cool … I guess my meanderings occasionally lead to something.

So, maybe the blog is worthwhile after all! If anyone out there is reading this stuff, would love to hear.

January 17, 2007

Guerilla My Dreams

Been thinking about guerilla marketing. There's some pretty clever stuff out there right now (see picture).  So, here are a few thoughts of my own… 
  • Deodorant ads on the arms straps of subways
  • Flip flops with stamp-like imprints so you leave your message in the sand
  • Prozac ads painted in the parking stalls at malls during the holidays
  • Skin cream promotions on babies' bottoms (as in "your skin could be as smooth…)
  • Babysitter services advertised on those diaper disposal bins in public restrooms (as in you deserve a break from this…)
  • Weight loss surgery promotions on the seats at movie theaters, ball parks and airplanes
  • Ads for financial planning services on slot machines in Vegas
  • Pizza pies painted on manhole covers
  • Airborne promotions on public phones
  • Pictures of your kids on commuter trains (to remind you to come home early)
  • Energizer battery ads on marathon runners
  • Cigarettes imprinted with the words "emphysema, lung cancer and heart disease"
  • Pest control services advertised on the backs of mimes 

January 15, 2007

Freedom Re-Writers

Freedom Writers is a good enough movie about a teacher who helps teens gain self-respect and hope even though they live in the worst city in the world.  Sort of.  Yes, we can all believe that there was a teacher who helped disadvantaged kids, but the part about worst city in the world doesn't cut it. I live in Long Beach, CA. It's a decent city. Sort of.

What to do with a film "based on a true story" that is sort of true, sort of untrue? I refuse to go on a tirade about the fact that Wilson High School really isn't that bad. (Although we did have a comical encounter with a cab driver in San Francisco. Turns out he used to teach high school in the LBC, and when we mentioned the new movie about Wilson being a gang-infested school, the guy literally stopped the cab and started laughing hysterically. No joke. Really. Well, sort of. I mean he did laugh quite loudly.)

So, while this film has some of my neighbors puzzling, I think we should just let Hollywood be Hollywood. It's a story about someone who tried to make a difference, and that ain't all bad. Plus, she tried to make a difference in my home town. Sort of.

January 12, 2007

The Curse of Logoitis

I have a great story to tell about what happened to an organization a few years ago.  This company spent hundreds of thousands of dollars developing a new logo. Countless consultants were called in.   Many hours were spent tweaking and re-designing the thing. Everyone got very involved in the process. 

Then, one glorious day, the logo was set to be revealed. The company rented a red carpet and royal trumpeters to serenade the great unveiling. The CEO – dressed in a tux – strolled down the carpet and stopped in front of an easel which had been draped in a satin covering. At the appointed time, the trumpets sung out and the drape was pulled away.

No one spoke as the audience of employees and board members got their first glimpse of the long-awaited logo.

Finally, someone yelled out from the crowd, "My God. It looks like an uterus and fallopian tubes!"

Now, granted this was a health care company, but no one on the branding team had ever intended for the logo to look like female organs. The greatly anticipated logo creation had become a disaster.

What lessons can be learned?   We need to all be more mindful of the perils of logoitis. By logitis, I mean the state of being ridiculously pre-occupied with icons and typefaces – to the point that everyone forgets the true meaning of the brand.

Brands are about putting an organization's ideals into action. It's the "living out" of these ideals that can make or break a brand. Problems occur when a logo or silly icon becomes more important than acting on the brand. 

In the end, your customers really don't care if you use Palatino or Times Roman. They care that they get great service and a terrific product. That will tell your story much better than a funny looking uterus.

 

January 11, 2007

Design-Her-Made

I really like the site Design-Her-Gals . It's great testimony to the power of personalization.  You create an illustration of yourself which you can use to personalize stationery, business cards, stickers and all other types of fun items. 

Creating your "gal" is cool. You start in a turban and bathrobe – a thinner version of your glam self.  Then, you can choose from a variety of hair styles and colors, eye colors, skin tones and mouths. The fun comes when you add your outfit of choice along with a prop to symbolize a hobby or obsession.

Also important is the fact that the site helps raise money for breast cancer and other women's health issues.  So, these people are not only clever, they're right-on.

My Design-Her-Gal has the maven's signature red hair and cool shoes. I wasn't quite sure what to put in her hand.   It was a toss up between a martini and a writing pad (although I am skilled at juggling both). 

I should add that I learned about Design-Her-Gals from a young woman who was interviewing with me. She got the job.

January 10, 2007

A Site Players Would Rather Shun

I am not one to be reminded of the importance of saving for retirement. To me, it's a nag-fest, similar to being reminded to eat your vegetables.

 

Fidelity Investments has made planning easier -- but no less painful -- with some very cool investment tools.  (If this seems a back-handed compliment, it is.)  Personally, I was just thrilled to hear I am $3 million off the mark in my planning so far.  For what it's worth, the program could have told me I was $10 million off. I believe my chance of hitting that mark is about as likely as the Pope's membership at Temple Beth Sinai.

 

Honestly, for a generation that shuns delayed gratification, it's a bit difficult to swallow the bitter pill of socking money away for one's dotage.  I have every reason to believe I'm not the only misguided grasshopper who'd rather play while the ant meets with his financial advisor.

 

I'd prefer to see Fidelity provide real life cases of spenders like me. Or, in the spirit of "come on now, let's be serious," I'd like to hear from someone who actually acheived her financial goals through a mutual fund. (I'll bet that's only part of a solid financial plan.)

 

Just a suggestion.

January 09, 2007

What Happens if You Blue Screen on a Left Hand Turn?

The New York Times has more of a sense of humor than I thought.   I was bemused to see the headline, ""Microsoft and Ford Combine Products." It is a set up for a classic joke – Q. Why doesn't Microsoft make cars? A. Because no one wants a car that crashes once a day. 
Well, may be people do.  This marriage of the makers of the Pinto, a classic crashmobile from wayback, and Windows, the classic computer crasher, surely bodes some impending disaster – or at least a very good joke.
Actually, according to The New York Times, Microsoft and Ford are to offer a system called Sync, a voice-activated method for connecting cellphones and media players to a vehicle. The article goes on to state that similar systems are widely available in Japanese and German automobiles. Yeah, but Toyotas and BMWs aren't half as funny as a car named the Ford Focus (or foc-you).

January 07, 2007

Marketers and My Space

I'm thinking that MySpace ultimately might have some marketing potential.  Ha! And for years I thought that it's just a way to check out you4 kids' conversations and horribly bad grammar. 

If you want to market on MySpace, take a cue from the bands that market their music. Pay attention to "your friends." Update frequently.   Don't exploit relationships. Stay real.  

Of course, that's better said than done. The temptation is real to go a little crazy with all those crazy MySpace antics. You know what I mean – posting cell phone pictures at weird angles, inserting soundtracks from your favorite heavy metal bands and answering mail with, "Yo, sup?"

Don't do it. You don't have to be a stuffed shirt, but know that as a marketer you have to exercise extra caution. One step into swarmy showmanship and your MySpace will be deserted.

 

 

January 05, 2007

A New Use for Dinosaur Media

I'm allowed to have weird ideas on my own blog, right?  Ok, I'm sitting with my son watching "Top Chef" or something like that on television. I'm thinking, how does this show generate enough audience to merit any advertising dollars? Are we at the point where television is really an outlet to fulfill frustrated producers' egos?   Does everyone and their sister get to have a television show? If this is the case, is television the new social media?
 
Now let's take this one step further. If television is the new social media, then why not experiment with the tried and true social media forums. Yes, I'm talking "You Tube on the Original Tube."  
 
Surely it won't be long before some entrepreneurial type launches a successful video-sharing television network.  Air several different categories a night – lip-synching, primitive animation and – in honor of America's Funniest Home Videos – crotch-kicking. I do believe it has potential.

January 04, 2007

Convert the Non-Readers

So the Philadephia Enquirer is laying off a lot of reporters. And the Wall Street Journal shrunk its newshole by "just 10 percent!" What the heck is going on with print journalism? Don't blame the bloggers. Don't blame the Internet. Blame the non-readers.

How many people do you know who never pick up a book? And when they do, it's something pulpy and mind-numbing?  How many people pick up a book by Bob Woodward? A challenging piece of fiction by Woolf, Pynchon or (my favorite of favorites) Nabokov?  A history of somewhere distant -- could they even locate Somalia on a map? A biography of someone fascinating like Einstein, Houdini, ML King or Francis Crick?

I'll admit I wasn't a reader until recently. Sure, I'd pick up a book on vacation, but that was rare.  Now I challenge myself to read 50 pages each day. It's opened up worlds to me. I feel more informed and more interesting (and I don't respond with as many blank stares at parties)!  So much for the endorsement...if you're not a reader, try it. Oh yes, and pick up a newspaper, too.

 

 

January 03, 2007

Jet Blah

 

 Ok, here's where I go ballistic. The folks at Jet Blue talk about how they're not your typical airline. I'm not so sure anymore. They certainly acted like your typical airline (the folks that just "gave up" on customer service) this weekend.

We traveled from
Long Beach to Oakland on Jet Blue - a very short, direct flight. Couldn't have been over an hour in the air. Well, we waited about the same amount of time to retrieve our luggage upon landing. And when we did, we found that my 14 year-old son's case hadn't made it. The guy at the Jet Blue lost luggage office shrugged and told us he'd give us a call when the next plane from Long Beach came in. "It's the holidays. I guess it's on the next flight," he told us, barely looking up from his paperwork.
 
As you can guess, no call was received from Jet Blue. Nothing.
 
Knowing my son's proclivity for embarrassment, I told him he had two choices -- we'd go out and buy some essentials to get him through the three-day trip OR he could sit back and watch his mother go crazy with so-called customer service people. He sort of shrugged and said he wanted his stuff.
 
It took about three hours of unabashed craziness on my part to get through to a customer service agent who cared. Most said that we should wait five days and report the bag as lost. Finally one gave me a clue -- the bag probably went "back east somewhere." With that piece of knowledge, I called three lost luggage offices at major airports served by Jet Blue. The guys in lost luggage were a little perplexed -- why was I calling? Shouldn't the Jet Blue agent be calling? I said that was exactly my point, but since they weren't doing their jobs, I'd do it for them.
 
Just great, Jet Blue.  Oh yeah, thanks for dropping the bag off at our hotel at 1 a.m.  By that time we had bought $100 worth of underwear and essentials at Macy's San Francisco.
 
Next time you promote yourself as "not your typical business," try to act not so typical.  

Big Thinking

I am reading Seth Godin's Small is the New Big, which is a collection of insights from a man whose mind obviously never takes a break.   My favorite quote: It's essentially impossible to become successful or well-off doing a job that is described and measured by someone else.
 
All marketers should make this thought their mantra.  It's not an invitation to ditch your current position (although Godin does make a good case for not being a "cog in a vast system" of corporate blather).   I believe that you can be successful defining your job within the confines of an organization.
 
I find that I am constantly re-writing my job. It keeps things more exciting. If I'm given a routine assignment (like writing the annual report), I want to make it that much more interesting.   I'll make it interactive, toss in some video or present it as a deck of cards…whatever. The idea is to keep challenging the folks who say, "We always do it this way and it's good enough." That's true marketing. Marketers are supposed to make up new rules, new job descriptions and new measurements for being successful.
 
Does all this re-thinking drive bosses batty? Yes, some will become outraged. But the truly good bosses know that they hired you to think…and if you're always thinking (ah hem, Mr. Godin), you're doing your job.

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